If you’re a good girl tonight

I saw Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters last night with Molly and Wook Jin!  It was AMAZING-AWFUL.  It was this perfect mix of absurd and self-aware and just….just going for it.  Just owning the awful.  Anyway, here are some reaction comics!  SPOILERS!  (And man…there were SO many more jokes than this.  Funny stuff from Wook Jin and Molly that I didn’t include.  I just could not fit them all in.)
 
 
 
 
 
 

And then they did.

 

Just, in general, such gratuitous violence in this movie.  Sometimes it was funny, usually it was gross.

The movie was actually really, really fun.  At a $3 theater with two friends who can appreciate a good bad movie, it was a perfectly wonderful time.

I could show you things that could make you sick

I saw Looper this week!  Read on for SPOILER-filled reaction comics:

One of the things I liked best about the film was the slow (like, embarrassingly slow) realization that I was NOT rooting for Old Joe.  Him killing that little boy was a point of no return, but I didn’t realize until the final confrontation that Old Joe was not our protagonist.  We are so conditioned to side with characters who are motivated by love, it takes time to see that Old Joe is not the wiser of the Joes.  In actuality, Young Joe comes to understand the nature of love far better than Old Joe does–he chooses self-sacrifice for the greater good over preserving one individual’s experience of love.  He sees beyond himself and breaks the cycle so that others can thrive.
I mean, you all saw the movie.  You know this.  But can we talk about it a bit?  That was amazing!

At Sara’s first appearance, I asked, “Is this our prostitute friend (Suzie)?”  I was not the only one in the group who assumed that it was.  Diversity please.

Okay so this movie you guys.  Two days ago I would swear up and down that Safety Not Guaranteed was the best film of the year, but now…I think I’m on team Looper.  Just.  Wow.  It almost never happens that a movie is that surprising and makes sense.  That it also makes statements about ending the cycle of violence, self-sacrifice, and the subjectivity of good/evil at the end of a shoot-em-up action movie?  Incredible.

Details I absolutely loved: Old Joe’s falling-in-love montage, Sara’s mimed smoke on the porch, Abe’s understated death off-camera cuing that he is not our main antagonist, Joe practicing French while waiting to kill someone, frog toy booty call, final shots of Sara and Sid going through daily life together.

Read my reactions to other movies:
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2, Skyfall, The Dark Knight Rises, Magic Mike, Brave, Prometheus

These times are changing and reshaping into something I can’t face

I saw The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (in 2D, non-iMAX, and I-can’t-remember-how-many-fps)!  Read on for SPOILER-filled reaction comics~
I started twitching in my seat after 2 hours, but the movie held my attention throughout.  I enjoyed revisiting the rich world of The Hobbit, and appreciated the time lavished on the sets and creatures.  The designs were incredible!  The diversity amongst the dwarves’ designs, the shots of The Shire and Rivendell, the gobelins and orcs and trolls and stone giants…amazing!
 

Okay, I had one big issue and it was with the horrific staging during the chase scene where Radagast leads the Wargs/Orcs away from Team Gandalf.  What the hell was going on in that scene?  Back and forth and back and forth, it felt like Team Gandalf was stuck behind the same rock the whole time, even though it was suggested that they were moving.

*Gollum (thanks, Ann)

You may have my number you can take my name but you’ll never have my heart

I saw the new Bond film Skyfall last night! Here are some reaction comics I made before bed.  As always, SPOILERS!

*Incongruous

*Whoops, that’s “Silva”…ha ha….British accents, you know…!

^My mom and I made this joke almost simultaneously.

So okay, it’s fun to poke holes in movies, but in all seriousness I really enjoyed Skyfall and will be recommending it to my friends.  It’s a good Bond film.  It’s a good action film.  The glass door scene?  The opening shot?  The rat monologue?  The rooftop dirt biking?  The new Q?  The use of the backhoe loader?  The word association game?  Every single establishing shot in the film? *whistle*
I was a little underwhelmed by the plot and the not-so-deep reveals about James Bond’s past because my friends had built it up a bit too much, but ah well.  He’s an orphan.  He hid in a cellar once.  I would have loved more character development than that, but I should have reminded myself that I was going into a James Bond film and they need to save all the time they can for the shoot-outs and explosions.  That final act…don’t even get me started.  The ice scene was cool, but I was falling asleep during the rest of the fire BOOM fire shouting BOOM stuff.

We forge our friendship by saving the world

Review comics for The Dark Knight Rises! As always, SPOILERS.

I had the Holy Musical B@man soundtrack stuck in my head ALL DAY Thursday before watching the movie.  It was hilarious how many of the jokes and themes from the play made appearances in the movie.  Most relevant:

Anyway, on to the comics!

It reminded me of Goldmember’s ridiculous flexibility.  Was that really Anne kicking that high, or was there a prop leg?! xD

There was a 2-ish-minute stretch while Batman was chasing down Talia al Ghul where I completely spaced out and couldn’t tell you what I’d just seen.  Bleh.  A bit is good but more than 30 seconds of people punching each other or shooting or whatever without breaks and my brain shuts off.

I didn’t actually cry, but a lot of people in my theater did. I didn’t believe for a second that he was really dead (I called ‘everyone thinks he’s dead but he’s really alive and training the next generation like in The Dark Knight Returns’ while my brothers and I were placing bets in line), but it was still a moving scene.

I looooved the movie.  From the complaints I’ve heard from friends, it sounds like the main difference between us is that I WANT neat, happy endings.  That’s exactly what I like (Dickens fan!).  The darker and more pessimistic the story, the more satisfying it is when I actually get a happy ending.  And this was the neatest, happiest possible ending for the DARK GRITTY trilogy, so I was extremely satisfied.

Last, here are my notes from the premiere if you are interested.  A lot of these got cut or altered on their way to the comics:

They were laughing and drinking and smoking and singing

My latest movie reaction comics: for Magic Mike! As always, SPOILERS.

Imagine living in a box

I did another series of movie reaction comics.  This time the film is Pixar’s Brave, in theaters today.  Here’s a spoiler-free text review before the spoiler-full comics:

This movie is fantastic.  If you think that our tastes are at all similar, or you have a heart or a mom, you should go.  The bottom line is: this is a well-crafted, beautiful, fun, surprising, and touching film.  It has been advertised in a cringey, slapstick way to get children into the theater, but don’t worry: this is not a lowest-common-denominator animated film.  It’s another Pixar masterpiece.  Quite a bit of the movie was withheld in the commercials, and it’s WONDERFUL.  You are in for pleasant surprises.  I recommend watching it in 2D; the film is a little too dark in 3D and some of the lovely details and textures faded out.

THESE COMICS CONTAIN SPOILERS.  Go watch the movie first — these probably won’t be funny unless you’ve seen it, anyway.

And all of the talk about changing your fate (“You can rise to meet it if you choose”).
And the closing gate and trying to escape into the woods.
And the misty, forested mountains.
And the animal mom protecting her human child. 
And the animal mom at risk of becoming an actual demon.
Horses, in my mind, are this feminine symbol of freedom and power and grace.  …I thought that was a well-documented thing, but apparently it’s just an association I have.  I was looking around the internet for any writing that had been done on it, or a catchy name for the trope or something, but came up empty.  ANYWAY, women riding horses = overwhelming ‘FUCK YEAH’ response in my head.
One of my friends pointed out that the triplets are always trying to steal buns/cakes from Maudie that look like boobs, complete with berry nipples.  And now I can’t unsee that subtextual subplot wherein the triplets are on a quest for Maudie’s goodies xD
LOOOOOOOVED THIS.  Commanding a dead silence by walking?  So cool.  And that austere expression on Queen Elinor’s face?  Just…GUH. PERFECT.
And then Merida demonstrates how much she has grown and come to understand and appreciate her mother (and the power she wields) by performing it just like her.  asdf;ljk.  One of those moments that is so perfectly foreshadowed it’s shocking you don’t see it coming.  PERFECT.  PERFECT!
Also, Merida…even I can sew better than that.  I mean really.
TWO LADIES ON HORSEBACK?  A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER ON HORSEBACK?!! *dies*
Cool/funny things that it would be repetitive for me to draw because they were done perfectly in the film:
-”Legends are lessons.  They ring with truths.”  (And so do Pixar films)
-Little Merida!  Especially the teeth–somehow they captured little-kid-mouth just right in her design and expressions
-One of the triplets lip synching perfectly with his father during the bear story
-The crow.  Just delightful.
-Every single instance of Queen Elinobear moving in an effeminate way despite her altered stature 
-”I’ve decided to do what’s right and break tradition.”  SO much love for that line.
-Merida going toe to toe with her father in a sword fight and winning?!
-Cutting his peg leg out from under him!
-Momma bear getting superbear strength when her daughter is in trouble 
-Mor’du’s spirit rising from the back of the rock
-Naked triplets!  Perfect timing, comic relief

I just added a donate button to this blog.  I am by no means starving, and I appreciate your traffic on its own merits, but if I raise a few dollars on these review posts it will help justify continuing to make them.  Thanks again, everyone!

I wanna be somebody’s buddy

I went to see Prometheus last night.  Short review: I really enjoyed it and would watch it again.  Read on for some spoilerific comics that happened between 1 and 2 AM:

I will go see Spider-Man.  I smirked because I enjoy people back-talking commercials.

A race of muscle-y, alabaster Voldemorts.  Like in the Bible.

Also you are the most interesting character and I adore you.

He seriously said that.

I LOVED the gender/sex subtext in the movie, even though there was some seriously disturbing stuff (not too much worse than the other movies).  Essentially Prometheus was about creation and the conflict between parents and children.  Some really, really interesting things happened between characters.  I want to watch it again and just focus on that.

Okay, so you’re not Ripley, but that was pretty cool how you were a total badass in the third act.  I so called that self-abortion in the special medical machine.  And even though it was one of the tensest scenes in the movie, I was cracking up at her having to program it for a male operation.  NICE, Prometheus.

“I want to see the baby.”  “Don’t worry about it.”  “WHY ARE YOU SLYLY PUSHING THE MONITOR AWAY?”  “Don’t worry about it. :D

And little glowy mochi-ball eggs!

FAVORITE RECURRING JOKE.  Sassy robot strikes again!

Screaming only makes the ship want to squash you faster!!

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